Hey I'm not a great poet and don't know much about poetry, but your poem was really good. It had a great rhyme (it was different,but good). Every stanza was short and sweet. All in all it was laid out beautifully.
There's not much that I see you can change although I'm not sure exactly what this means: "could all the way be true" I have an idea of what this means but it's not clear to me. I've never been in love so it might just be me who doesn't get this.
Also "... we'd better get to bed before it turns two" doesn't make much sense. Are you referring to the time. If so try to make this more clear.
Hope this is helpful and good work keep it up.
Points: 890
Reviews: 6
Donate